What I think about when I think about Jumping

I am so obsessed with this queen right now. I just have to. ;) 

So, I was going around some videos over my phone and I stumbled onto one of me doing that Dropzone thingy in Dahilayan. I can’t really call it a ride, because you don’t ride anything, and other than the harness, it’s just me, the tower and a trampoline. It’s both terrifying and exciting.

Basically, this is how you do the dropzone.

You climb up a really high tower about 6 or 8 stories high. The entire thing was pretty open, so its like climbing a skeleton of a tower. You could literally see everything under you. So if you have acrophobia, well, it’s a given that you shouldn’t try this attraction.

When you reach the very top, they attach you to a harness, and then you jump off. 

I should repeat that for emphasis.

YOU JUMP OFF THE 6 STORY TOWER THINGY.

I didn’t really have a problem climbing the tower because I’m not really afraid of heights.

But jumping off from it, is a completely different story.

I was a bit of brag, it was my first outing with my new officemates, so I wanted to establish this daredevil persona, and it’s something that I have never tried before, and I might never try again if I don’t do it now, so what the hell. So up I went. I was flipping my hair, and shakin’ my shoulders like it was no big deal. On the entire way up, I was chanting to myself,

This is okay, there’s a harness, and there’s a trampoline waiting down, what can go wrong? They wouldn’t put it up there if it was an actual death tower anyway.

An officemate went before me and man, he just went right ahead. It was so much pressure, because he just walked to the edge, made sure the harness was okay, then bam. There was no moment of hesitation, no thoughts of backing out, he just jumped.

So it’s my turn.

I steadily walked to the edge of the platform, still strutting like this entire thing is a walk in the park. Then, I was on the edge of a 6 story tower. And I have to jump.

It was my first time doing anything like this, being a sheltered kid who was not allowed to go anywhere other than school and all that. My brain has no memory whatsoever of jumping from high places and doing daredevil thingies so naturally, my old pal the amygdala went haywire. I could almost see it wildly blinking red. I was feeling cold, my hands and legs are literally shaking, I could feel every hair on my skin stand up, the feeling of the air on my face was more pronounced, everything is more pronounced.

I was trying my best to calm my brains out by thinking about meh, the worst that could happen is that something would go wrong, and I’m gonna die, which is not so bad, really. Everyone’s gonna die, well, it was a little dumb to die this way, but, meh. But also, the possibility of that happening is very low. People are meant to jump from this tower, I have a harness, there’s a trampoline under me.

But man, my body just couldn’t stop shaking.

The thing that made that attraction terrifying is not the fact that you’re going to jump from a really high tower. There are videos, and the actual jump is around 5 seconds tops, the harness would take care of the rest of the way down. It wasn’t the fall that was scary. It was the idea that you will do it voluntarily, by yourself, no one’s gonna push you, the floor is not gonna pop open.

YOU.HAVE.TO.JUMP.

So you’re basically fighting with your natural instinct of self-preservation and survival.

I was up there, shaking let a wet chicken, seeing everything under me, with the wind blowing to my face like a jerk. I took my time, and I was this close to backing out. I don’t know what happened, I guess I just shut my brain down for a second and jumped the fuck down that tower.

And that was it. Done.

Daredevil persona retained.

I felt like a badass.

This isn’t the scariest ride/attraction that I have tried on that trip, there was that vertical slide thingy, (which I got stuck in the middle of), the 500m zip line, that roller coaster/anchor’s away slide ride, but this one is probably the most memorable.

It made me think about the people who jump to their deaths. How terrifying was it to stand on the edge of a building or a bridge, with no harness, no trampoline, nothing waiting down there but death. How much will power would you need to take that final step and just let it all go.

I always say that I don’t mind dying, at this very moment or in the near future but being up there ready to jump terrified me so much, and it was just a park attraction.

It's just a thought. And I know it's a really dark thought, so I'm gonna leave a picture of this really cute pingu that would wipe all the terrors away.